Sharing as a Tool for Growth

February 2, 2026

Though they differ slightly, in both of my writing groups, we write and then when we get together, we share. After a piece is shared, we comment on what we just heard. When I think about why these groups are valuable, I’m torn between accountability and sharing. I have to write regularly to bring something to group, so being a member makes me accountable even when I don’t think I have anything to say. But I actually think sharing is just as valuable to the writing process even if it’s a little harder to label what the value is.

However, despite how beneficial for my writing sharing may be, it’s dang scary!

For one thing, I’m exposed. Even if it’s not memoir, I’ve still put my blood on the page so my ideas, my knowledge about the topic, and my command of the English language are all there just waiting to be critiqued. And, memoir writing makes me even more vulnerable.

Even so, I’ve learned the only way I improve my writing is to share it.

For one thing, people always see things in my writing I don’t. “Look how you continued that motif…” I did? Oh! Look at that, I did. The window they offer into what I’ve written might make me think, “maybe I should play with it even more.” Or, even if I’ve very carefully crafted a character, they might not get the character’s motivations. It’s so obvious why they did that! However, if it’s not obvious to anyone but me, maybe it needs a little more work.

For another, sharing my work has given me a thicker skin. I actually do want people to (constructively) critique my work. I need multiple perspectives so that I can see my work through other’s eyes. Asking for another’s perspective is, by definition, giving them permission to tell me what isn’t working. Sometimes that’s painful. But if I don’t hear where it’s not working, then I can’t fix it. If I want to write well, I have to be able to hear criticism.

These criticisms are not an indictment of me as a person. They are a commentary on the page. What I have learned, or perhaps more accurately, am learning, is that critiques of my writing (and rejection letters) are just that—a commentary on some words, my words true, but just the words nonetheless. And as the author I alone have the agency. I can choose whether to make changes or not.

While learning this has been an important aspect of sharing for me, it’s not the purpose of sharing in Guided Memoir Writing. In Guided Memoir Writing, sharing is an integral part of the process, and it’s also the part that’s most likely to keep people from signing up. I totally get it. Sharing is really scary. But sharing is also, almost without fail, the part that people come to appreciate the most. It’s amazing how trusted comments on your work can help you grow as a person.

In GMW, we don’t comment on the writing structure; we bear witness to each other’s stories. It’s an honor to be given a peek into that which makes us who we are. Growth comes in listening to the stories of others. Growth also comes in hearing your story reflected back by a listener. “Oh! I didn’t know that about myself!” is real music to the soul.